You know that theory that for each person, a perfectly compatible person exists? Someone who understands you, who knows what makes you happy, who loves you despite all your faults...a soulmate, if you will. Well, most of my life, I've been a firm believer. I don't know if it's because it actually makes sense to me, or simply because I want to believe that some day I will find that "perfect" person. As I've thought more about the possibility, though, I've become more and more skeptical. Actually, I know a lot of people who question this belief, and with good reason.
Think about all the marriages that end in divorce. I don't know any exact statistics, but I'm fully aware of how prevalent divorce is in today's society. Considering how many people think they're in love at some point (whether they actually are or not), and then later fall out of love, or realize they never were in love to begin with, I just don't know if the whole soulmate theory fits.
On top of that, there are thousands of nice, attractive people who never get married. I guess it's possible that marriage just isn't something they're interested in, but if they really found that ideal person to spend the rest of their life with, wouldn't they want to?
Another fear I have is that I might one day find someone I think is my soulmate, and they won't feel the same way. How frustrating would it be to meet a person who possesses all the qualities you've ever wanted, and it seems like you're destined to be together, until you find out that they're in a serious relationship, or just not interested?
Or, what if that "perfect" person exists somewhere, but your paths never cross? What if the person lives in China, or Italy, or Mars? Ok, maybe not Mars, but really, isn't it too much to expect if you truly think that you'll just happen to run into your soulmate randomly on the street?
There's a song I know by Natasha Bedingfield that's entitled "Soulmate". The lyrics of the chorus go, Who doesn't long for someone to hold, who knows how to love you without being told? Somebody tell me why I'm on my own, if there's a soulmate for everyone. This song really touched me when I first heard it. It's filled with emotion, a desperate cry of loneliness, and I can't help but wonder, if a beautiful, famous person like Natasha Bedingfield has these concerns, what are the odds of an ordinary person finding their "other half"?
Another song that touches on the soulmate topic is "Gotta Be Somebody" by Nickelback. The chorus goes, 'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there. 'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares. Someone to love with my life in their hands. There's gotta be somebody for me like that. 'Cause nobody wants to go it on their own, and everyone wants to know they're not alone. Somebody else that feels the same somewhere. There's gotta be somebody for me like that.
These songs make me think that I'm not the only one who wonders about this, or wants to believe that their soulmate is out there somewhere. Though there are countless reasons not to agree with the idea, I try to focus on the positive. For one, there are so many happy, lasting relationships. I look at my parents, and many of my friends' parents, and it amazes me how these couples have been able to stay together for so long. Personally, I think it would be difficult to do so if they weren't made for each other.
I also look at the ways married couples first met...at work, at parties, through mutual friends. Isn't it comforting to believe that God (or maybe fate, if you're not religious) determines the course of these events, leading you to your true love? The Rascal Flatts song "Bless the Broken Road" goes, Every long lost dream led me to where you are. Others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars, pointing me on my way into your loving arms. This much I know is true: that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.
Maybe that's a naive approach. Maybe it's stupid to think that I'll stumble upon that "perfect person" one day. Maybe. But I hold onto that belief.
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2 comments:
I'm not sure whether I believe in soulmates or not. At the moment, I'm leaning towards not. What I believe is that there are multiple people, spread across the world, who would make you equally happy. I can't believe in just one soulmate, who God (or whatever) intended you to be with. But if you think about it, there are billions of people in the world. Chances are, there are hundreds of people that serve as perfect partners to you.
In a way, this theory is more comforting to me than the theory of having just one soulmate. What if that soulmate dies, or lives in China? Or finds someone else who they think is their soulmate? With my theory, you've got multiple chances to find somebody to love.
We see this happen all the time. Some people haves spouses die, but they can find love again. Could this happen if people just had one perfect soulmate?
People all like to think that they'll find love someday, and I'm not any different than that. Hopefully we all will, whether they're are "soulmates" or not. Because really, isn't "soulmate" just a term for someone we love unconditionally?
Kate!! We are so alike in so many ways... I always think about the future and getting married and whether or not there are soulmates. I read Kyle's comment, and in many ways I agree with him. With over 6 billion people in the world, there are a lot of people who are similar. Since I do not really believe in fate, I don't really believe in soulmates. i think that, like Kyle said, there are multiple people who could make any given person happy. I am also a very firm believer of not rushing into relationships or claiming love too quickly. It always peeves me when kids our age or younger say "I love you" the first day they begin a relationship that lasts for, oh, a few weeks maybe. Then they'll get a new boy/girlfriend and tell them that they love them, too. I think when people rush into relationships like this it develops bad habits that, if copied when people are actually looking for someone to spend the rest of their life with, could have disastrous effects as they realize that the person they claimed to love, they don't really love. Anyway, your post was great! We should have a discussion about this some time :]
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